This Is How It Starts
Your mother was still a little bit worried about you after the Ketones Incident, so she arranged for yet another mothers and babies (and foetuses) doctor to bounce some of those special sounds we talked about off you just to make sure that you were all right in there.
It seems she needn't have worried. In fact, I don't think we're going to be worrying much about disturbing you any more. On the contrary, it looks like we might be asking you to keep it down in there.
You, aged 13.7 weeks.
I wasn't able to make it to today's appointment, but your mother informs me that you were, to say the very least, highly active. Your newly acquired arms and legs, I'm told, were all being given some thorough commissioning tests. Throwing yourself energetically against the walls of your accommodation also appears to be a favourite pastime.
I can't say I blame you. If I had no job and lived in what felt like a zero-gravity bouncing castle, I'd be just the same.
I'm sorry to have missed it all. It sounds like you're already developing what bad film critics out here call screen presence.
It turns out, too, that you're big for your age. In fact, your CRL (crown-rump length) of 84.6 mm is normally associated with a GA (gestational age - you can see these impressive-sounding measurements on the picture of you above) of 14 weeks and 4 days, almost a week older than you actually are.
Now, this is all well and good, and there's nothing your mother and I want more than for you to be settling in and enjoying your food. However, this sort of thing does present us with a problem.
You see, we're trying hard not to become what are called bores. In particular, we're keen not to be boring parents, people who turn their conversations with their family and friends (and mechanics and check-out operators) into relentless and scarifyingly detailed monologues about the habits and accomplishments of their offspring.
We really are trying.
And then you come along, with your in utero martial arts and your fantastically precocious CRL, which are just begging to be worked into conversation with the next person to happen by the water cooler.
Oh, yes. This is how it starts.
It seems she needn't have worried. In fact, I don't think we're going to be worrying much about disturbing you any more. On the contrary, it looks like we might be asking you to keep it down in there.
You, aged 13.7 weeks.I wasn't able to make it to today's appointment, but your mother informs me that you were, to say the very least, highly active. Your newly acquired arms and legs, I'm told, were all being given some thorough commissioning tests. Throwing yourself energetically against the walls of your accommodation also appears to be a favourite pastime.
I can't say I blame you. If I had no job and lived in what felt like a zero-gravity bouncing castle, I'd be just the same.
I'm sorry to have missed it all. It sounds like you're already developing what bad film critics out here call screen presence.
It turns out, too, that you're big for your age. In fact, your CRL (crown-rump length) of 84.6 mm is normally associated with a GA (gestational age - you can see these impressive-sounding measurements on the picture of you above) of 14 weeks and 4 days, almost a week older than you actually are.
Now, this is all well and good, and there's nothing your mother and I want more than for you to be settling in and enjoying your food. However, this sort of thing does present us with a problem.
You see, we're trying hard not to become what are called bores. In particular, we're keen not to be boring parents, people who turn their conversations with their family and friends (and mechanics and check-out operators) into relentless and scarifyingly detailed monologues about the habits and accomplishments of their offspring.
We really are trying.
And then you come along, with your in utero martial arts and your fantastically precocious CRL, which are just begging to be worked into conversation with the next person to happen by the water cooler.
Oh, yes. This is how it starts.
posted by Paraic O'Donnell at 8:44 PM
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